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Internet Attorney: Spammers Should Be Executed

By October 17, 2008July 4th, 2010Internet Lawyer

Enough! The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) brags about shutting down the biggest spam network (Herbal Kings) in the world. Noticed a drop of unsolicited commercial e-mail (junk mail) in your inbox as a consequence? Neither have I as an Internet attorney.

Asset forfeiture and civil judgments just aren’t enough to deter spamming when it is so profitable for those who do it.

What’s the solution?

It is time for a law that requires career spammers be executed. I’m not talking about the Internet newbie who sends you spam inadvertently after getting your business card. That’s annoying but the newbie isn’t maliciously profitting by sending tens of millions of unsolicited junk e-mails monthly that waste countless labor hours trying to delete or fix damage caused by trojans, etc.

As for those hours wasted, imagine what humanity could do with it instead? Increase work productivity? Make technological and medical discoveries? Even a worldwide twiddling of thumbs would be better than cleaning out the inbox, updating spam filters, and running virus checks on everything to combat spammers.

Jerks who knowingly and willingly send you spam about diet pills, sexual enhancement drugs, fake Rolex watches, etc. should be put to death.

Does this mean we should become vigilantes and execute them? Of course not. Remember that I’m an Internet attorney…not Attila the Hun.

What I do mean is that Congress should spend half the time it does protecting Hollywood with bad IP laws passed because of bribes disguised as campaign contributions and devote the time instead to passing draconian laws that make it extremely painful for spammers to live and breathe on Planet Earth.

Before the bleeding heart Pollyannas of this world start screaming about spammers’ civil rights, let me be clear. The cretins should be afforded due process of law. But once convicted, sentenced, and the appeals exhausted, they should be led to a public square and executed. Ideally, the execution would be webcast and televised as a deterrent to others thinking of embarking on a spamming career.

And for those who are adamantly against the death penalty, I’m willing to compromise. Let’s borrow the penalty imposed by some Middle Eastern countries on thieves. After all, spammers steal our irreplaceable time.

Let’s provide due process in a court of law but chop off the hands as a sentence instead of imposing the death penalty. Repeat offenders lose other body parts (tongue to eliminate voice recognition software spamming) until Stubby the Spammer realizes it is time to pursue a legitimate vocation.

As an Internet attorney and entrepreneur who receives far too much spam, I’ve given you my thoughts. What do you think? How should spammers be punished?

Mike Young, Esq.

Author Mike Young, Esq.

Mike Young has been practicing business and technology law since 1994 and is an angel investor in startups. He's been an entrepreneur since 1988. To get legal help from Attorney Young, click here now or call 214-546-4247 to schedule a phone consultation.

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